Living Confidently
Hi, it's Ori here, and welcome back to Orig1nal Blog. I took a one-year break to recharge and reset, but I'm back. As I reflect on the past year, I am humbled by the life lessons while surviving a global pandemic. I am a completely different person now than I was last year, and I want to share my tips on living more confidently.
Address your problems
We, humans, are experts at compartmentalizing and rationalizing away our issues. When you ignore your problems and try to push through them, they manifest as insecurities, negative thinking patterns, and maladaptive behaviors. If you want to be more confident or at peace, start by addressing your problems one at a time. Identify what issues keep you up at night, what triggers your negative emotions, and what barriers are standing in the way of the life you want to live.
I was unaware of the many external contributors to my lack of confidence. I was burdened by problems that were not mine, I was exhausted from overworking myself, and I lacked healthy boundaries in my relationships. Once I began therapy and received more guidance on addressing these problems, the weights started falling off my shoulder. I realized that I wasn't insecure. I was just unaware of who I was underneath all the rubbish. I recommend checking out my previous blog post on how to find a mental health therapist.
Get involved in a healthy community.
There are many interpersonal and social skills that we cannot learn in isolation but can only learn in the community. If you have adopted the mindsets of toxic individuality or toxic independence, this one is for you. You are not an island, and you should not live alone or in isolation, so I encourage you to find a healthy community and get involved. Face your fear of rejection or disappointment and put yourself out there again. Pray that God places destiny helpers along your path to encourage you to go after the life God has for you. Healthy communities will challenge you, protect you, and support you. As you serve others, you will realize your potential and get more clarity on who you are. If you don't know where to start, start with your immediate family and friends, then get to work, creating a healthy community for yourself.
“Fear is a distraction from finding joy”
Be Consistent and do not give up.
Confidence is developed when you recognize that you are good at something. Many of us may try something new, and if we fail, we give up. Building confidence in any area of your life means you must be consistent in that area. For example, when I began working full-time in my field, I was nervous about my competency level and ability to produce results. I was not confident; however, I kept going. I asked for guidance, but at some point, I had to face it head-on. My persistence and consistency lead to results, and then I became more confident. One day, I looked at myself and said, "Okay, Ori, you're good at this." In the same way, if you are not confident in any area of your life, keep working at it. Do it even if you're scared, and I promise you will come out, in the end, more confident.
“Trying and failing and learning are where growth and knowledge reside.”
Embrace Love
Many people portray confidence as being carefree and not giving an F about anything, but I don't see it this way. People tell me that I am a carefree black woman, but my idea of a carefree black woman is a whole woman. A woman who is no longer worried about the future or stressing over the past: instead, she is focused on building her life one brick at a time. My ideal state of being is that of wholeness, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If there's an area where I am lacking, I'll tap into God's abundant resources and find my comfort in him.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him (God) who loved us.”
The lies we have believed about ourselves eat away at our confidence. To be more confident, you must heal from the wounds and embrace the unconditional love God has already given you. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you have made and embark on your self-love journey.
I hope my tips for becoming more confident bless you today.
Stay Original,
Ori
