Seven Things I Badly Want To Tell Women
I had the pleasure of meeting Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo and his wife, Mildred, at an event in Virginia a few months ago. After listening to them speak, I picked up a few of their books, and I enjoyed this one. Pastor Kingsley gives women seven vital tips that pertain to their dating life and pursuit of a Godly marriage.
His tips are;
Have standards
Remember that you are beautiful
You are better off alone than in an unhealthy relationship
Learn ways to keep a man, not just get a man
Grow spiritually
Make your own money
Develop yourself
Without giving too many spoilers, I want to highlight the points in this book that stood out and resonated with me. I love that the book begins with the advice to set boundaries and have standards. Pastor Kingsley reminded women that having high standards doesn't make them mean people. As believers, we should not model our standards by worldly trends, but we must know what we require from a man to have access to us. He explained that women are naturally nurturing, nature lovers, and natural givers.
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
In comparison, men can be selfish and transactional. He poses that women setting standards protects them and gives men something to work towards. God commanded men to love women and women to respect men because love comes naturally for women but not for men.
The next point that stuck out to me was his emphasis on how selfish men are and how a man's love is not enough to satisfy us. Many women struggle to accept this, leading to heartbreak and relationship dissatisfaction. We're not bashing men here; we're just saying they are much better at going after what they want and avoiding what they don't want. In contrast, women feel pressured to tolerate anything to have someone in their lives. The healthiest relationships are maintained when a man knows that taking care of his wife is essential to taking care of himself. This book is an excellent reminder that a man's love will not fulfill you; only God's unending and unfailing love can do that. So focus on dating/marrying a man that can add value to your life.
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
This book was such a quick read; I finished it in about 5 hours (with breaks) in one sitting. I highly recommend it.
